Things left unsaid
by kobitah
Summary: A multi-chapter. Mostly H/P. Pretty angsty. Please R&R. DISCLAIMER: unfortunately I don't own Criminal Minds or the characters. Please don't sue. P.S. Spoilers for Retaliation S5 E11 and later episodes. Rated T for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Emily walked down the steps of the motel. She needed to get some fresh air. They were still in upstate New York, due to fly back to DC the next day. Emily was still extremely sore from the accident and thought the fresh air and a stretch would help. Sleep definitely wasn't on the cards for tonight. She made it to the front lawn in front of the motel and wandered around the garden. She kicked off her sneakers and felt the grass between her toes. She didn't want to close her eyes, knowing what was waiting on the other side. Bunting. His face. His face as Shrader choked him to death. Emily just stood on the lawn, thinking. She looked up at the sky and saw the stars. With the lights on the street and in the nearby carpark they weren't as visible, but she knew they were still there and it calmed her mind.

Hotch couldn't sleep. After everything the team had already gone through in the past year, this was one more nightmare to deal with. Hotch was just starting to get back into the rhythm of the job when JJ had burst into the conference room saying that Emily was in the hospital following a car accident. Hotch felt that strange case of déjà vu, where the woman he had grown to love was in trouble. In that moment he'd wanted to run out of the station and get to the hospital. He had to know she was alright. But he couldn't. Not only did he have a job to do, but he couldn't express how he felt about her, how he was so grateful for the support she'd given him during the past months, following Hayley's death, how he'd been falling in love with her long before Foyet was even an issue. He couldn't tell her. So he was stuck, in limbo, knowing he would probably never love someone like he loved Emily.

He walked out his door and onto the front stoop. He looked up at the sky, finding a few stars. Then he heard her cough. Without looking he knew who it was. He edged forward and sure enough, Emily. He watched her from a distance, knowing he could get caught, but unable to look away. She was lying on the grass, looking up at the sky. He quietly walked over and sat down next to her. She looked up and smiled. "Hey," she whispered. He didn't answer. He just lay down next to her and let out a sigh. They didn't need words, they just lay there, watching the sky.

After what felt like forever, Hotch whispered, "How you feeling?" Emily let out a breath. "Guilty," she answered quietly. Hotch sat up slightly, leaning on his elbows, and frowned at her. "Why?" he asked, his brow furrowed. Emily wouldn't look at him, and kept her eyes on the sky. She shrugged. "I didn't do enough," she answered. Hotch wasn't sure what to say. He thought she was the optimist. She had told him so many times that what had happened to his family wasn't his fault. And now here she is, blaming herself for what happened to Bunting.

Hotch took a deep breath and lay back down. "Prentiss, you did what you could. You did more than that. You scrambled out of a wrecked car to shoot down a killer. You don't need to feel guilty for making it out alive," he said. Emily felt a tear run down her cheek and she reached up to wipe it away. "Pren…" Hotch stopped himself. How could he tell her how he felt if he couldn't even call her by her given name? "Emi…" Hotch was cut off when he heard footsteps.

He turned his head and watched Rossi walk over to them. He stood over them and shook his head. "I hear noises and think it's an unsub and it turns out it's you two. What are you doing up so late?" Emily sat up on her elbows. "Sorry. Just star-gazing," she said. Rossi smiled and looked up. "Alright. Well, I'll leave you to it," he said, before he turned and walked back to his room.

Hotch sighed and sat up. He looked over at Emily and frowned. He stood up, still silent, and held out his hand. She smiled sadly as she took it and he pulled her up. They were standing so close she could swear she heard his heart beating. He was still holding her hand when he cleared his throat. She let go and wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. She felt him relax and wrap his arms around her waist. "Thanks Hotch. Thanks for everything," she whispered. Hotch frowned as he smelt her hair. "Prentiss, you're a valuable member of this team. I'm grateful for everything you contribute and I hope you know how much…" Hotch cleared his throat, "How much you mean to all of us."

Emily stood back and nodded, furrowing her brow. She could've sworn he felt the same way about her but… maybe not. And if he wasn't going to tell her now, when he had almost lost her, then he would probably never take that chance. Emily forced a smile. "I'm gonna try get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning sir," she said, looking at her feet.

Hotch's heart sank as she called him "sir." Maybe he was kidding himself. Maybe she was just being nice when she dropped him home after Foyet, when she helped him go Christmas shopping for Jack, when she babysat Jack so he could meet with Strauss. She'd been on the team for years and was always doing kind deeds for everyone so maybe she was just being a friend, nothing more and nothing less. Hotch nodded, "Goodnight Prentiss," he said quietly, and watched her walk up the stairs to the second floor of units. He frowned before walking back to his room.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I don't know why but jealous Hotch is so easy to write. He just seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't admit how he feels all that easily, but would still grow to resent someone who did.

DISCLAIMER: I'm likely to forget this a lot so for now, and later, I DO NOT own Criminal Minds or their characters. Or the 49ers.

"Emily!" JJ called out from the table. They had just returned from Wyoming and everyone had agreed that a night out was needed. Garcia had called Will to say that JJ was especially emotional so he'd called a sitter immediately. Given that Jack was spending the week with his grandmother they'd even managed to convince Hotch to come out. Most of the team was there and they were just waiting on Emily and Derek. He was meeting a friend and had said he would be there as soon as possible. And Emily had just arrived. As she walked through the door she looked back and spoke to the tall, blonde man walking in behind her. Hotch frowned. "Hey, who's the guy with Emily?" Reid asked. JJ shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. She didn't say anything about bringing someone," she answered. Will rubbed her back. "Why don't we just wait and see what Emily says," Rossi said.

Emily was nervous. She had warned Peter about her friends. "C'mon babe, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think," he said as they walked through the crowd. Emily rolled her eyes. Her friends were her team-mates. Profilers, with the exception of Garcia, Kevin, and Will. But even those three were scary without the credentials. Emily grasped Peter's hand as tight as possible without cutting off circulation as they got closer to the table. "You sure you're ready to meet them?" she asked. Peter chuckled and kissed her cheek. "I'm sure," he whispered in her ear, "Remember, I love you." Emily blushed and squeezed his hand as they reached the table.

JJ stood and hugged her friend. "Hey Jayje," Emily said, looking over her shoulder at the others and huffing at their curious faces. When they stepped back Emily took a deep breath. "Uh, guys, this is Peter Preston. Peter, these are my friends/team-mates. This is JJ, Will, Spencer, Penelope, Kevin, Dave, and Hotch… Aaron… we just call him Hotch," she explained, gesturing to each of them.

She frowned when she realized she called all of them by their given names when they were out except for Hotch. She shrugged her shoulders and smiled as Peter shook hands with each of them. She frowned when Hotch just nodded. Rossi turned to Emily and Peter, "You guys want a drink? I was shouting the first round," he said. Emily nodded. "Uh, just two beers thanks Dave," she said. Rossi nodded and smiled. Emily and Peter took two empty seats next to JJ. There was one spare seat left for Morgan, between Hotch and Peter.

Hotch watched as Emily leant forward on her knees, talking to JJ, while Peter stroked her back. Rossi quickly returned with a beer for each of them and an extra one for Morgan who had just walked through the door. When he reached the table he looked at Reid and nodded towards Peter. Morgan sat in the seat between Hotch and Peter and looked over. He held out his hand. Emily looked over and smiled as they introduced themselves and started chatting. They discovered they both went to Michigan State, a few years apart. As they chatted and reminisced Emily grinned. She turned back to JJ to talk about a shopping trip.

After a few drinks Emily needed to go to the bathroom. She excused herself and JJ and Garcia followed. Morgan tapped Peter's shoulder. "Apparently it is all girls," he joked. Peter laughed as he watched his girlfriend walk away. He turned to Hotch and smiled. "So, Em was telling me you've got a son," he asked. Hotch nodded but didn't say anything. Morgan looked at Hotch and raised his eyebrows. He turned to Peter and smiled. "Yeah, only Hotch and JJ and Will have kids. The rest of us haven't grown up yet," he said, trying to get rid of the tension.

Meanwhile, the girls were headed to the bathroom. Emily knew the second she separated herself from the others the girls would follow and hound her. She raced into the bathroom and into a stall. When she emerged the others were waiting by the vanity. Emily rolled her eyes and sighed. "Alright, just let me wash my hands," she said. After ten minutes of explaining how she'd met/started dating/fallen in love with Peter the girls were satisfied. They freshened up and headed back to the guys. When they returned Emily put her hands on Peter's shoulders. He looked up at her and smiled. She leant down to whisper in his ear, asking him to dance. He nodded and grinned, standing and taking her hand to lead her to the dancefloor.

"So what did she tell you two?" Rossi asked JJ when Emily and Peter had gone to dance. Hotch rolled his eyes. Dave was just as bad a gossip as the girls and loved nothing more than finding out who was boffing who. But in this case, as much as he hated to admit it, Hotch found himself listening in. "Well, he's the team doctor for the 49ers, he was an orthopedic surgeon until he changed specialties. Now he gets to travel the country with the team. He grew up in San Francisco and they met about six months ago. They only started dating about two months ago. He has two brothers and three sisters, he went to Michigan State for pre-med then Johns Hopkins for medicine. He loves dogs, wants three kids, and has already said "I love you,'" JJ spilled. Rossi nodded and smiled as he sat back. Hotch frowned. He'd already said he loved her. And by the way Emily was looking at Peter, she felt the same way.

Hotch leant his elbows on his knees and frowned as he watched them move closer as they danced to the slow song. He watched as Peter ran his hands over Emily's back and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He frowned as she leant her head on his chest and closed her eyes. He took another sip of his whiskey as Peter whispered something in Emily's ear. It should've been him holding her. It should've been his hair she ran her fingers through. It should've been him whispering words in her ear. Hotch frowned as he looked at the ground. It wasn't him. He stood up and said he was calling it a night. The others didn't know how he felt and he wasn't about to tell them. So rather than sitting here, watching the woman he loved dance with someone else, he needed to leave. He grabbed his jacket from the seat and walked away.

As they were dancing, Emily glanced up and saw Hotch walking out. She frowned. He didn't even say goodbye. "Hey honey, do you want to have dinner in a couple of weeks? I'll be in Baltimore and I can probably take a night out to drive out here," Peter whispered in her ear. Emily pulled back and nodded. She leant up and kissed Peter's lips gently. He brushed his hand over her back and smiled. She leant her head back on his chest and sighed. She loved this man, and she had thought that she'd never be able to get over her feelings for Hotch. But he had been so rude tonight. He hadn't shaken Peter's hand, he had barely said a word to the man. Emily knew he was a cranky bastard but usually, around her, he was at least tolerable. Emily rolled her eyes. She didn't need to think about that. She had a wonderful man, and he loved her. And she loved him. And she didn't need to think about her boss, or how she had felt about him in the past. She didn't need to think about how much she worried, how much she cared that he was ok. She just needed to focus on the man in her arms.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: A quick note to thank Celina79 for my first ever review. This is my first fanfiction so it was really exciting to find out someone not only read my story but enjoyed it too. I really hope I'm getting the characters alright but I dunno. We'll see.

DISCLAIMER: As always, I do not own Criminal Minds or any other entity mentioned in this story.

They were flying back from Rhode Island. Emily was anxious to get back. She knew that Peter would be there to pick her up from the office pretty much as soon as they arrived. When they landed, Emily grabbed her gear and hurried the others to the cars. They quickly drove back to Quantico and, even before the car had stopped moving, Emily was jumping out, running towards the elevator. The others weren't in quite the same rush and casually walked over, catching the second lift from the carpark. When they got upstairs Emily's bags were in the bullpen, but she wasn't. Morgan and JJ stopped at her desk, while Reid sat down at his. Hotch and Rossi both went up to their offices. Rossi rejoined the others and talked about maybe going out for dinner. They all agreed.

Morgan's jaw dropped when the glass doors opened and they all looked up to see Emily dressed in a red dress. "Emily Prentiss!" JJ called out, while Morgan wolf-whistled. Emily grinned, putting her dirty work-clothes in her ready-bag, then twirling to show off her dress. "Em, it's gorgeous! Where did you get it?" JJ gushed. Emily couldn't wipe the smile off her face and explained to JJ where she'd picked it up… on sale.

Hotch looked up when he heard JJ and Morgan. He looked out of the window in his office and his jaw dropped when he saw Emily. She was wearing a knee-length red dress and red heels. The top part hugged her curves, running down to her waist, where it fanned out. When she spun, the dress fanned out even further, showing off her legs. Hotch swallowed hard then frowned. He shook his head and threw the files down on his desk. He sat in his seat and groaned. When he looked out into the bullpen again, she'd left. Hotch rolled his eyes and sat back. A few minutes later Rossi knocked on his door. Hotch looked up from his paperwork and frowned. "You coming out for dinner?" Rossi asked. Hotch shook his head. "No. I want to get as much of this done before I pick Jack up from Jessica's tomorrow," he replied. Rossi nodded. "Alright. I'll see you Monday," he said, quietly closing the door.

- - - - - - -

Emily was so excited. She had arrived downstairs and Peter was waiting, with a limo. He helped her into the car and they drove to the airport. Emily looked at Peter as their car pulled up next to a small plane. He led her up the stairs and the door quickly closed behind them. He gently put a blindfold over her eyes and whispered in her ear, "I've got a bit of a surprise and I don't want to ruin it." Thirty minutes later the doors opened and Peter led her down the steps to another limousine. He held her hand the whole way. When they arrived at their destination Peter helped Emily out of the car and led her up some steps, invoking strange looks from passers by. He led her through the building and over to the elevators. A quick ride up and, as the elevator doors opened he released her blindfold. Emily's eyes adjusted before she looked into the restaurant of the New York Marriot, overlooking the city. Emily's jaw dropped and the maitre de led them to their table.

Emily ran into the bullpen and straight to her desk. In her rush to get downstairs to Peter, she'd left her cell phone in her ready-bag. And given the events of the evening, she would definitely need it. "Prentiss, what are you doing here?" Hotch said, walking out of his office and onto the landing. Emily stood up quickly and grinned. "Hi, Hotch. Sorry, I was just coming to get my cell… I forgot it before," she said. Hotch nodded and walked down to join her in the bullpen. "What are you still doing here? It's past midnight," she asked. Hotch pointed his thumb over his shoulder. "Uh, paperwork. Just finishing my report. Which reminds me… can I get your version of the take-down as soon as possible? The sooner you give it to me to sign off, the sooner I can close this case," he said. Emily was furious. "Sorry Hotch, but I don't think I'm going to be able to get much done this weekend. It'll have to wait until Monday," she said. Hotch frowned.

"Prentiss," he started. Emily turned and shook her finger. She thought back over all the time she'd wasted, staying back late to finish reports, just to be close to him. "No Hotch. Just because you don't have a reason not to work 24/7, doesn't mean the rest of us are the same. I'm finally getting the chance to have a life outside of this place and you're expecting me to do reports? Where's your son Hotch? Why don't you put Agent Hotchner to rest for a couple of days and just let Aaron get out? If you're not careful, you're going to work yourself to death one day, and then what?" she said, trying not to let the tears fall. Hotch shook his head. "Agent Prentiss…" he started again, trying to warn her with his tone.

But Emily shook her head. "I'm not Agent Prentiss right now. I'm Emily. And Emily wanted to tell her friends, including Aaron, that she just got engaged." Hotch tried hard to stop his face from reacting to the news. But, as made apparent by Emily's face, he wasn't successful. "Yeah, that's right. Peter proposed tonight," she said, holding up her hand and holding back the tears. "He flew me to New York and took me to dinner at the Marquis. After that we went for a walk through Central Park. He got down on one knee and told me he loved me and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I said yes," she explained, tears starting to fall down her face.

Hotch's heart sank. He hadn't wanted to make her cry. He was just trying to stop himself from telling her how he felt. "I said yes and the first thing I wanted to do was call all of you. Because you and the team, you're my family. And after our sucky year I wanted something good. And then you had to go Agent Hotchner all over it," she said through the tears, "Grrr," she groaned out loud, "I promised myself I wouldn't be a girl about this." Hotch tried to reach out to her to hug her and tell her he was happy for her (even though it was a lie) but she stepped back, holding her hands up. "No Hotch. You don't get to do that now. I'll see you Monday," she said, grabbing her cell and walking quickly from the office.

Hotch stood there for a moment, frustration boiling up in his heart. Before he knew what he was doing he kicked her desk, knocking her stationary cup and photo frame over. He picked up the frame and looked at it. It was a photo of the team from the previous Christmas. Dave had organized a BBQ at his place just outside of the city. Will had taken the photo. Hotch scanned from left to right, Rossi, with his arm around JJ who was holding Reid's hand. Reid and Morgan had their arms around Garcia. Morgan was leaning on Emily's shoulder and she was leaning on Hotch's shoulder. Morgan had just made a joke so even Hotch was laughing in the photo. Hotch couldn't help but smile as he looked at their faces. In spite of the fact that it was just after Hayley's death, the team had helped him see that he wasn't alone. They were his family. And he knew then, just as she had helped him through the toughest time in his life, he knew he had to celebrate with her, the happiest time in hers. He sighed as he set the photo down again and fixed up her pens before he headed back up to his office.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Please don't hate me. I promise you it'll all work out in the end but I figured with Hotch being such a straight-laced, by the book kind of guy it would take a HUGE event to make him tell her how he felt. So it's gonna take awhile but I promise it'll be worth it.

Also see 2nd A/N at the end.

DISCLAIMER: Still don't own Criminal Minds so… sorry. Please don't sue.

* * *

It was two months later when Emily knocked on his door. It was only 7:30 so Hotch was surprised when he looked up and saw her there. "Come in, take a seat," he said. Emily smiled and nodded. "What is it Prentiss?" he asked, using her surname as a way to remain distant, closed off, stop himself from admitting what she meant to him. She took a deep breath and that, her nervousness, should have been his first clue.

"Here," she said, holding out an envelope to him. He took it and opened it, and she'd waited. Hotch knew she was hoping for a reaction but he couldn't do it. He couldn't break down the wall. He had promised himself that he was going to support her, be happy for her. And he couldn't really blame her or hate her. Peter had just done what Hotch himself didn't have the courage to do.

"Ok Agent Prentiss. I'll fill out the relevant paperwork. You should be officially transferred by the end of the month," he said. Emily nodded and forced a smile. "Ok. Thanks. I uh…" she paused, "I wanted you to know first. It's not because of the work. Or because of the kids. I've really loved this job and the challenges. Although I'm sure we could've done without some of it. It's because… Oh God… I don't want you to think I'm being foolish" she paused again and Hotch frowned. "Emily, I could never think that," he assured her. She smiled and took a deep breath, "It's because Peter wants me to move with him to California. His job is important to him and he is important to me. And this job, this life. It doesn't mean as much to me as Peter does," she explained. Hotch could feel his heart breaking as she said those words. But instead of throwing his inhibitions aside he simply stood, held out his hand, shook hers, and congratulated her, wishing her the best.

Emily smiled and nodded. She let go of his hand and walked around to the other side of the desk. As she pulled herself close to him for a hug, she whispered in his ear. "Thank you so much for your friendship Hotch. Without you, I don't think I would've lasted." Hotch closed his eyes and frowned, hoping to suppress the tears he knew were coming. "Thank you too Prentiss. I don't know what I… we'll do without you." He hoped his faux pas wouldn't reveal him. Emily stood back and smiled. "Ditto," she said quietly. Hotch forced a smile and cleared his throat as he stood back. Emily nodded. He'd ventured out of Hotch territory enough for the day. She walked towards the door. "I hope you'll be happy," Hotch said. Emily paused in the doorway before she turned and gave him a smile. "I hope so too," she said. Hotch watched as she walked back down to the bullpen where JJ and Garcia were waiting at her desk.

* * *

A/N 2: Sorry about the length, or lack thereof. This was really just one of those chapters to push the story along so we weren't jumping straight from engagement to wedding. This chapter was really just to get Emily transferred from the BAU and find out how Hotch felt about it. I've finished the next chapter so I'll pop it up too.

Please read and review. Your reviews make me so happy.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This is a longer chapter than the last. The BIG DAY! It feels weird marrying Emily off to someone else but believe me… it'll all work out in the end. Remember this is supposed to be angst-filled.

Remember to R&R

DISCLAIMER: Still haven't hit the jackpot therefore don't own CM.

* * *

Emily looked down at her dress nervously. It was today. She kept thinking this was crazy. She'd only been engaged for two months, but with the help of JJ and Garcia, they'd managed to put together a dream wedding in such a short period. JJ was busy fixing Emily's dress while Garcia fixed Simon's tie. Emily looked at her dad and smiled. "You ready to go honey?" he asked. Emily smiled nervously and nodded. JJ looked over hers and Garcia's dresses before she nodded. "Let's go get you married Miss Prentiss," she said. Emily grinned as they walked towards the path.

It was a beautiful April afternoon, perfect for a wedding in the park. Emily had suggested the idea to Peter and he had found the perfect place. The Palace of Fine Arts in north San Francisco had the beautiful rotunda. Garcia had called up a number of places that were willing to do the decorating. Given it was a small wedding, it was fairly easy to pull off. They set the ceremony for 5:30pm, sunset. The rotunda was decently lit, and the path to the altar was lined with candles.

Simon held Emily's hand as the girls walked down the aisle. Garcia walked down first, followed by JJ. They were met at the altar by Peter's groomsmen, his younger brother, Robbie, and the linebacker for the team, Julian. Emily looked over at her dad, who squeezed her hand as the music started. Emily smiled and looked down the aisle at her soon-to-be husband. Then she took the first step.

Everyone stood as the minister told them. Hotch looked at his feet until he took a deep breath. He looked up the hill and saw Emily making her way down, holding onto her father's arm. She was wearing a floor-length, off-white gown. The bodice clung to her curves and was detailed with tiny beads. The skirt hung from her hips and moved gently in the breeze. She was grinning, ear-to-ear, as she looked down the hill at Peter. Hotch frowned and looked at Peter, the man who had taken the woman he loved. Rossi pat his friend's shoulder, assuringly. Hotch looked at Dave and nodded. Rossi had known about Hotch's feelings for Emily, long before Hotch had known himself. So he understood how difficult this day was going to be. But Dave had promised Emily that he would make sure Hotch came. It meant a lot to her to have her BAU family there and Rossi couldn't deny her.

When Emily and Simon made it to the altar, Peter held out his hand and took Emily's. He smiled at her father before he turned and led her back to the minister. As they read their vows, Hotch couldn't help but think… He should be the one saying these things to her. Promising never to leave her. But he wasn't.

When the minister said those magical words, Emily couldn't help the smile that grew on her face as she leant forward and kissed her husband. It was little more than a chaste kiss, but she could feel the love he had for her. He held his hands on her waist and pulled her close, whispering in her ear, "I love you Mrs. Preston." Emily stood back and smiled, her hands on his hips. "I love you too Mr. Preston." They walked over to the table and Emily sat in the seat. As they signed their names, and took photos, she smiled and laughed. When the photos were taken Peter helped Emily up from her seat and they stood at the front of the aisle. "It is my pleasure to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Peter and Emily Preston," the minister said excitedly, invoking cheers and applause from the guests.

As they walked down the steps to greet their families, Hotch excused himself. Rossi watched as he walked up the hill, towards the large field. Hotch turned back, seeing that Emily was busy kissing and hugging her new family. Peter's family. He walked along the path, lined with roses, and looked up into the sky. It was beginning to get darker, the sun setting to the west, and Hotch could see the stars. Hotch figured he'd take a walk, settle his frustrations, and try to get himself together before the reception. He knew it was going to be tough, watching everyone celebrate something he had no desire to celebrate. He hadn't realized he'd been gone that long until he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and saw Morgan and Rossi walking down the path. "Everyone's heading to the reception. The others are taking one car. We'll take the other," Rossi said. Hotch forced a smile and nodded. "Alright. Let's go," Hotch said. Morgan patted his friend's shoulder as they made their way up the path towards the cars.

He was sitting at the team's table, watching JJ and Will and Garcia and Morgan dancing. He watched as Emily danced with her new husband. Husband, he thought to himself, why couldn't it have been me? He slogged back another whiskey, feeling sorry for himself. Rossi looked over at him and shook his head.

A few songs later, while Peter was busy talking to his workmates, Emily wandered over to her team. "Come on Morgan, let's dance," Emily said, holding out her hand. Hotch watched as Morgan jumped from his seat to dance with her. Garcia noticed the look on his face. "C'mon sir. You're the only one who hasn't danced with me yet," she said, picking up his hand and practically dragging him onto the dancefloor. Hotch tried to resist but the three whiskeys on an almost empty stomach prevented his win. He danced with Garcia but couldn't take his eyes off Emily. She was talking and laughing with Morgan as they danced.

Emily put her hand on Morgan's shoulder and smiled. "You did it," he said cheerfully. Emily grinned and nodded. "I know. I still can't believe I'm married," she replied. Morgan chuckled. "Well," he said, leaning forward and kissing her cheek, "As sad as I am to not have you around anymore, I must say you look very happy. And that makes me happy." Emily smiled, trying to suppress the tears. "I said I wasn't going to cry about leaving. So please… say something horrible so I don't fail," she begged. Morgan rubbed her back and smiled. "I'm sorry. I can't say anything bad. You're one of my best friends and I'm gonna miss you," he said. Emily leant her forehead on his and smiled. "I'm gonna miss you too," she said, looking up and pulling him into a hug, tears starting to fall down her face. "You're like my brother. I love you Morgan. And it's gonna suck not having you around to talk with or pay out," she blubbered. Morgan stood back and reached up, wiping the tears from her eyes. He shook his head. "If you don't stop, I'm gonna start. And I'm a man so I can't cry in public," he teased, his eyes beginning to well up. Emily mouthed "sorry," and he chuckled. He pulled her into a tight hug again and whispered in her ear, "It's not goodbye. It's see you soon." Emily nodded and closed her eyes.

As the song changed, Garcia dragged Hotch over to Morgan and Emily. "Ok, swapsies. I want my chocolate Adonis back," she said. Morgan huffed and took her hand. "We'll talk more later," he called out as Garcia dragged him off. Emily waved and smiled, then turned back to look at Hotch. She took a deep breath.

For a moment Hotch and Emily stood there looking at each other. She sighed and started to walk away when he grabbed her hand. "Prentiss wait," he said. Emily turned and winced as he called her that. "Just one dance," he said quietly. Emily wasn't sure what to do. This was the man she had loved for so long. And this was her wedding day… her wedding to someone else. But she went along with it. She reached up and put her hand in his and placed the other on his shoulder. He pulled her tight and looked over her shoulder. After a couple of minutes of silence, the only sounds coming from the song, Emily looked up. Hotch met her eyes. "Prentiss…" his voice trailed off and Emily stood back, dropping his hand. "Hotch, don't. I'm not Prentiss anymore. You don't get to call me that. From now on we're just two people who used to work in the same unit. Nothing more, nothing less. God," she said, exasperatingly, "I can't believe I actually thought I was going to miss you." Her words cut at his heart. "Hotch…" she started, trying to think of the words. But she couldn't. She was tired of loving him. Tired of caring about his feelings. And today, of all days, when she had a man who was in love with her AND willing to tell her as much, she was thinking about Hotch's feelings again? No. Emily shook her head. "Make sure you take your thank-you gift home. There's a little something in your bag for Jack. If you'll excuse me, I have to go check on my husband," she said harshly, before turning and walking away. Hotch stood on the dancefloor and frowned. How could he be so stupid?

Hotch had quickly returned to the table and dropped into his seat. All he wanted to do was tell Emily how much he was going to miss her. How much he was going to miss seeing her everyday, listen to her laughter, be near her. But, just as he couldn't tell her how he truly felt, he couldn't tell her any of that. So instead, he'd called her Prentiss. Idiot. Rossi tapped Hotch's shoulder. "What's say we head out? All we're missing is the garter and the bouquet, neither of which is something we need to see," he said quietly. Hotch nodded. "I'll just go say goodbye to her. Give me a few minutes," Rossi said, before he stood and walked over to Emily. Hotch nodded and watched him walk over to Emily and Peter. He looked down at the table and noticed the small gift bag next to his glass. He picked up the one labeled Aaron Hotchner, and peeked inside. He pulled out the small tag with Jack on it and tugged to get the small gift attached. It was a small keyring with a photo of Jack and Emily attached. Hotch smiled and ran his thumb over the photo. He pulled out a card from the bag and sighed. It was a small note, written in Emily's hand-writing.

_Peter and Emily, 10__th__ April, 2010. _

_Here's a small gift to say thank-you for your love and friendship on this, the day of our wedding. Love, Peter and Emily. _

Rossi slowly made his way over to Emily and Peter, chatting with her step-mother and aunt. He tapped her on the shoulder and smiled. When she turned Emily grinned. "Hey Dave," she said, taking his hand. "Hey honey. I was just popping over to say goodbye. I'm getting old and probably need to hit the sack before I hit the floor," he joked. Emily smiled and nodded. She took his arm and pulled him aside, out of earshot from the others. She glanced over at the table and frowned. "I'm going to guess that lie was for the sake of my husband," she said, matter-of-factly. Rossi rolled his eyes and hugged her tight. "I should learn never to lie to a profiler," he teased.

Emily leant her head on his shoulder and felt a tear fall down her face. "It's ok Rossi. Trying to explain to Peter why you and Hotch are leaving so early would end in our first fight as a married couple," she stood back, "I was hoping that could at least wait until the honeymoon." Rossi smiled and reached up to wipe her tear away. "I'm sorry. I'm being such a girl today, with all the goodbyes. Earlier with Morgan. And yesterday afternoon at the comic book store with Reid," she said, rolling her eyes and forcing a smile. Rossi shook his head. "Em, I've got news for you. You are a girl," he joked. Emily smiled and hugged him again. "I'm gonna miss you dad," she said quietly. "I'm gonna miss you too kiddo," he replied. "I'll try and swing a book tour through here soon," he said as they stood back. Emily nodded and wiped her eyes. "Good. And come out for a holiday. We've got plenty of room," she said. Rossi smiled and kissed her cheek. "Be happy Emily," he whispered in her ear. She smiled and nodded. "Goodnight Dave," she said quietly. He gave her one last smile and walked away.

Peter came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. "You ok?" he whispered in her ear. Emily nodded and ran her fingers over his arms as she closed her eyes. "I'm good. Just hate goodbyes," she said quietly as she watched Rossi return to the table. Hotch stood and Rossi pat his shoulder. Emily watched them pick up their jackets from the back of their chairs, farewell the rest of the group, and walk towards the door. Hotch looked back just as Emily closed her eyes again and leant back on Peter's chest. "Bye Emily," he said under his breath.

Emily walked over to the table for her final goodbyes. She'd purposefully left the girls until last, not wanting to ruin their night. Will and Kevin were talking with Morgan over by the coat-check so it was just the three girls. Emily dropped into the chair between her friends and wrapped her arms around their shoulders. The three girls stood together and hugged tight and Emily felt the first sob rip through her. "I'm gonna miss you so much Emily strange," Garcia said through her tears. Emily turned and hugged Penelope. "I'm gonna miss you too hot-stuff," she said. Garcia smiled and leant back. "But we'll see you right? I mean, we'll come to visit, and you'll come to visit. It won't be forever?" she asked. Emily nodded and brushed Garcia's bangs back. "I'll be home for Christmas. And you guys have to come visit for a beach holiday," Emily said. Garcia nodded and they hugged once more. "Oh god, you're not gonna turn into some surfer chick are you?" Garcia teased. Emily laughed and wiped her eyes.

When they pulled back Emily looked at her feet and then over at JJ. JJ just shook her head. "No. I'm not giving you a hug. Cause then I'll cry and then I'll be a mess. And I can't…" Emily cut her off and pulled her tight. JJ tensed up but then she felt herself relax as she wrapped her arms around her friend's waist. "You're like my sister. I can't believe I'm not gonna see you every day," JJ said quietly, feeling the tears begin to fall. Emily nodded and stood back, wiping her eyes. "I know. It's gonna be so weird!" she cried out. "Not to mention how much it's gonna suck," JJ teased. Emily smiled sarcastically. "But you and Will and the boys will come to visit right?" Emily asked. JJ nodded. "Sure. And we'll see you over Christmas and New Years. And you'll have to go to the 49ers games and try to get on the TV. Trust me, I'll watch an entire game if there's a chance to see you," JJ joked. Emily smiled and nodded.

She squeezed the girls' hands and smiled. "Take care of the boys for me. Make sure Morgan doesn't tease Reid too much. He always makes fun of him and I don't know how Reid's gonna deal with it on his own," she said, "And make sure Rossi doesn't push himself too hard. I mean, he's not as young as he used to be and sometimes he forgets his limitations. And Hotch. Geez. Make sure he leaves at a reasonable hour. And give Jack kisses and cuddles all the time. I said goodbye to him before I left DC but I don't think he understood that I wouldn't be around anymore. He really needs someone to take care of his dad. And him." Garcia nodded. "We'll take care of them Em. You just take care of yourself and your new husband and we'll see you," she assured her friend. Emily nodded and pulled them close again.

The guys came back over and Peter walked over to join them. "You ready to go honey?" Will asked JJ. She nodded and smiled as Peter put his hands around Emily's waist. JJ threw herself at Peter and hugged him tight. "You hurt her and you'll pay," she whispered in his ear. When she stood back Peter nodded. "Duly noted," he said, kissing Emily's head. JJ smiled and put her arm around Will's waist. "I love you guys," Emily called out after her friends. Peter kissed her neck.

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A/N: I don't know if i've said this before but the jealous, brooding Hotch is so easy to write. and fun too. please don't let the crazy "emily's gone and married someone else? wtf!" storyline get to you, i promise it'll work out in the end. and the next two chapters are almost done and will be uploaded together.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Ok guys, sorry. Another short one. But I promise the next chapter is bigger. This is exciting news for Emily and I'm sure you'll be able to guess it by the end. But you don't officially find out until the next chapter. Please remember to read and review. They make me so happy.

DISCLAIMER: Roses are red, violets are blue. I still don't own Criminal Minds, But I'm hoping one day to. (Ok so I'm a dork but who doesn't love some good ol' poetry?)

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"Oh… my… god," JJ said as she sat down next to Morgan. He was staring out the window of the jet, looking at the clear sky. He looked over at his friend and frowned. "You ok?" he asked. JJ nodded and forced a smile. "I'm fine… I just… got some news," she replied. Morgan nodded, "And… care to share with the class?" he asked. JJ shook her head. "Not my news to tell," she replied. Morgan huffed and shook his head. "Women," he said under his breath. "OW!" he cried out, causing everyone to look up. "What was that for?" he asked JJ, who had just stepped on his foot with the heel of her boot. She stood up and shook her head. "Men," she huffed under her breath before she moved over to lie down on the long couch. "Uh, JJ. Need we remind you that you're the only woman on this jet?" Reid asked, gesturing around at the group. JJ sat up and looked around at the guys. "Damn it. Emily, why did you have to leave me?" she cried out as she threw herself back on the seat and covered her face. Rossi chuckled and returned to his book.

Hotch was looking out the window and overheard the whole conversation. He shook his head. It was September and had been five months since he'd last seen, heard from, spoken to… Emily. He was constantly realizing how big his mistake was when he found himself handing out assignments, and still saying "Prentiss, you take the last crime scene." He would glance around at the group and clear his throat before amending his statement. Hotch generally thought he was unflappable, and liked that everyone saw him as such.

But not having Emily around, not hearing her laugh at the ridiculous things coming out of Reid's mouth, not seeing her smile when JJ talked about her boys, not seeing the shock on her face when Rossi talked about the "good ol days," he was really starting to realize how important she was to the team, to their family. And even home wasn't an escape. "When is Miss Emly coming over Daddy?" was constantly coming out of Jack's mouth, stabbing his father in the heart. Hotch knew Jack held a soft spot for her, he had grown to love her following his mom's death. He understood that she and his dad were kindred spirits and therefore, if he could trust his dad, he could trust Emily. Hotch shook his head as he looked back out the window.

When they arrived back at the office JJ dropped the paperwork on Hotch's desk. As she was walking back through the bullpen, Garcia came plowing in and grabbed her hand. "You… me… bathroom," she said quickly. JJ looked at the guys and shrugged her shoulders. "Is it true?" Garcia asked, once they were in the confines of the ladies bathroom. JJ shrugged her shoulders. "I guess so. She said four months," JJ answered. Garcia shook her head. "Should we tell the guys?" she asked. JJ shook her head. "It's not our news to tell. And while she didn't say _not _to tell them, she also didn't say she wanted us to." Garcia bit her lip and nodded. "You gotta promise me Pen. Not even Morgan," she said quietly. Garcia's jaw dropped until she realized what JJ was saying. "Ok. Not even Morgan," she repeated. JJ held out her pinky and Garcia rolled her eyes. "I know you, you would never break a pinky promise," JJ teased. Garcia hooked their pinkies and shook. "Fine. You got me. I promise," she said.

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A/N: So I'm pretty sure y'all can guess what's coming up. Don't sweat it, I'm putting up the next chapter now. It's pretty exciting. And it involves Christmas and parties.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Here it is: Emily's first visit back to the BAU. I've never had a white Christmas but it always seemed such a romantic idea. Snuggling up by a warm fire, sitting by the window looking out at nothing but white. Here in Aus it's sitting by the pool drinking beer, or unwrapping your presents in air conditioning. Anyway. Please read and review. Oh and tee hee. Appearance by Jack.

DISCLAIMER: I don't not own Criminal Minds.

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Emily looked out of the window and smiled. Snow! She loved the snow. And Christmas. And DC. And Christmas in DC with snow. She felt like a little kid. "So how long do you think you'll be?" Peter asked, breaking her from her reverie. Emily shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I promised the girls that we'd go out for dinner AND dessert so don't wait up. I'll catch a cab back to the hotel," she answered, rubbing Peter's shoulder. He nodded as he pulled the car up outside of the tall building and smiled as he leant over. "Have fun," he said as he kissed her. Emily smiled and nodded as she touched his cheek. "You too. And don't let Dad hassle you about February. He'll push you until you cave. So you've gotta stand firm," she said. Peter kissed her hand and nodded. "Ok. Operation hardass it is," he joked. Emily rolled her eyes and climbed out of the car. "I'll message you when I leave the restaurant," she said. Peter nodded. "I love you," she said as she leant on the window. "Love you too." She stood back and watched him drive off, then she turned and looked up. This was her first trip back to DC and therefore, her first visit back to Quantico. Since she and Peter would be spending every Christmas/New Year holiday with her parents in Virginia, she agreed to drop in and visit her friends as well. She took a deep breath and walked up the steps.

It was only 5:30 when she arrived on the BAU floor so the office was still full. The elevator doors opened and she stepped out into the hall. She smiled when she saw Morgan sitting on what was once her desk. He was talking with Rossi and Reid. Reid was the first to look up and his surprised expression caused the others to turn. "Emily! Look at you! You're…" Morgan's voice trailed off and she smiled. "I'm here. In a coat… and jeans… it's freezing," she said. Morgan pulled her close and hugged her. She turned to Reid and smiled. "How you doing lil bro?" she asked, hugging him. Reid shrugged his shoulders. "I'm dealing with the lack of protection from Morgan's constant bullying but… other than that I'm good. How are you?" he asked, looking her up and down. Emily smiled. "I'm cold," she said. Rossi stepped up to hug her and looked over her shoulder. She felt him tense up. "Uh… Emily," he said as he stood back. Emily turned to see Hotch and JJ walking through the glass doors. Hotch stopped where he stood and his jaw dropped when Emily turned to face him.

"Just make sure you get me the preliminaries as soon as possible. I want to finish everything before Christmas Eve," Hotch said as he and JJ walked through the halls. JJ nodded and smiled. "Sure," she replied. She sighed. "You and Jack have anything planned?" she asked. Hotch nodded. "Uh, Jack's spending Christmas Eve with Hayley's family so we're doing our thing on Christmas morning before we drive to my brother's for Christmas dinner," he explained. "What about you guys? You and Will doing anything with the boys?" he asked. JJ nodded as he pulled open the door of the BAU. This was Adam's first Christmas so they'd wanted to make it special. She stopped suddenly and, when he looked up from the ground, Hotch saw her. She had her back turned and Rossi was hugging her. Emily. When Rossi saw them he pulled back and said something. Hotch looked at her as she turned and then he saw it. Emily. Pregnant.

How could she be pregnant? And so far along. She looked at least six months along… if not more. But she looked beautiful… radiant. Hotch's heart sank. At least with just Peter in the picture he could selfishly hope. But now she was pregnant. Hotch was broken out of his reverie as he heard JJ call her name.

"Emily!" JJ cried out. She ran over to her friend, hugging her tight. When she pulled back she placed her hands on her belly. "You look fantastic!" JJ squealed excitedly. Emily smiled and rubbed her stomach. "Yeah well… I'm only seven months along so we'll see if, by the end of it, you're still saying that," she said sarcastically. Emily tensed up when she saw Hotch walk over. "Emily. How are you?" Hotch asked, awkwardly hugging her over her pregnant belly. Emily forced a smile as she stood back. "Uh… I'm uh… good. How are you?" she asked. He shrugged his shoulders. "Oh… before I forget," she said, digging into her purse. She pulled out a small present, wrapped in silver paper. "This is a small present for Jack. Just a little something," she said. Hotch looked at the gift and smiled. Emily. She always remembered Jack. "Thanks, I'll make sure to give it to him when I see him tomorrow night," he said. Emily smiled and nodded.

JJ turned to her. "Alright, you ready to go?" she asked. Emily smiled and nodded again. "Sure. Let's go," she said, "If this kid isn't fed on a regular basis she kicks like crazy," she joked. Everyone chuckled. "Just like her mom," Morgan teased. Emily smacked his arm. "Alright. Well I guess I'll see you guys on New Years," she said. The others nodded and smiled as JJ took her arm and led her out of the BAU. Hotch watched as they stopped in front of the elevators and Emily talked excitedly while she ran her hands over her belly. "So… Emily's pregnant!" Morgan said. Reid nodded. "Apparently so." Rossi pat Hotch's shoulder. "I'm outta here boys. See you for New Years. Remember party starts at 9, bring nothing." The others nodded and watched him walk back up to his office to pack up his things.

Hotch said goodnight to the guys and walked up to his office. He sat down at his desk and sighed. Emily's pregnant. Emily… pregnant. Hotch shook his head and leant his elbows on the desk. What was he going to do?

* * *

Hotch held Jack's hand and led him down the side of Dave's house just outside of Mt Victoria. Jack was chatting away about something that had happened at his grandma's house but all Hotch could think about was Emily. Emily pregnant. Emily pregnant with Peter's baby. Emily pregnant with Peter's baby and the father-in-question's arms wrapped around her stomach.

When they reached the back porch and looked through the windows, Hotch's thoughts came true. Emily and Peter were talking with Reid and Morgan. Peter had his arm wrapped around Emily's waist and she was patting her stomach. Jack looked up and saw Emily. He squealed. "Miss Emly!" he cried out, letting go of his dad's hand and running in to his favourite person in the world. Emily and the others turned and her face lit up when she saw the little boy. He was bouncing on the ground and Emily stooped down and picked him up. She kissed his cheek as he wrapped his arms around her neck. "Daddy said you'd be here and you _are_!" he cried out. Emily nodded and smiled. "I am here Jack in a box," she said.

Emily loved this little boy and she could tell from his greeting that he missed her as much as she missed him. Emily knelt back to the floor and put him down as he explained to her about his Christmas. "Oh and thank you for the present Miss Emly," he said, hugging her again. Emily smiled and stood when she heard Hotch. "Yes. Thank you for the present. Every bath time it's "Forget the boat dad. I wanna surf just like Miss Emly," Hotch said. Emily stood and smiled. "Well, I mean, boats _are _fun. But if you wanna live in California, you've gotta learn how to surf," she said, looking down at Jack.

He had been quiet and she laughed when she saw his face. He looked up at her and pointed to her stomach. "Miss Emly, why are you fat?" he asked. Everyone chuckled and Hotch rolled his eyes. "Jack that's not very ni…" he started. Emily cut him off with her laugh. "It's fine Hotch," she said, kneeling down again. She dropped to the floor next to Jack and smiled as she ran her fingers through his light brown hair. "I'm pregnant," she said. She reached over and took his hand, placing it on her belly. "I'm gonna have a baby," she explained. Jack's jaw dropped. "You gonna be a mommy," he said quietly, amazed. Emily smiled and nodded as she looked up at Peter. "Yep. I'm gonna be a mommy," she said.

Hotch was smiling, then he looked over and saw Emily smiling at Peter, and he frowned. He almost jumped when Emily laughed. Jack looked at her, completely enthralled. "Did you feel that?" she asked him, running her hand down his back. Jack looked back at her belly and nodded. "What was it?" he asked innocently. "That was the baby kicking. She just wanted to say hello," Emily explained. The six-year old smiled. "Can you make her do it again?" he asked. Emily chuckled and shook her head. "Unfortunately not. She just does it when she wants," Emily replied.

She looked up and realized that Peter had gone to the drinks table. Emily looked up at Hotch and he held out his hands to her. She reached up and put her hands in his, pulling herself up. "Sorry. I'm a bit of a heffer," she said, self-deprecatingly. Hotch huffed and shook his head. "Not at all. You look beautiful Emily," he said quietly. Emily blushed and bit her lip. Hotch cleared his throat and looked down at Jack to compose himself. When he looked back up Peter had returned and handed a cup of water to his wife. Hotch cleared his throat and excused himself to go and say hi to the others.

Hotch walked into the lounge room to lie Jack down on the couch. It was 10 pm and way past Jack's usual bedtime. He'd been hoping he'd make it to midnight but, alas, he was only six. Hotch smiled when he walked into the room and found Emily asleep. He lay Jack on the other couch and pulled a blanket up over his small body. Jack immediately curled into a ball and put his thumb in his mouth. Hotch ran his hand over his son's back and kissed his cheek. "Night buddy," he whispered.

Hotch turned and looked over at Emily. The fire was setting off a dim glow across the room and Hotch looked at her face. She looked so peaceful. Apparently California had been good for her. He looked down at her belly, her hand wrapped protectively over it. He smiled when he thought over earlier, where Jack had felt the baby kick. He'd been so excited and had spent half the night sitting and talking with Emily. Hotch was sure she'd get irritated with his constant questions about the baby but, if she was, she didn't show it.

He bent down and pulled the blanket up over her shoulders, running his hand up her back in the process. He frowned. This was torture. He was in love with this woman, this beautiful, outstanding woman, and she could never be his. He sighed and ran his hand over her shoulder. She stirred and Hotch stood up quickly. "What time is it?" she asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes. Hotch looked at his watch. "Uh. 10:25," he replied. Wow, had he really been standing there for 25 minutes? He shook his head and looked down.

"I should get up. I don't wanna miss the fireworks," she mumbled as she sat up. Hotch nodded. "Alright. Well, let's get you outside then," he said quickly. Emily held her hands up for him to help her up. He pulled her up from the couch and looked down at her. "Emily, I just…" he started. Emily looked up at him. "What is it?" she asked. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he said. He couldn't make any declarations or explain why he'd acted the way he had. But he could at least apologize.

Emily was stunned. She was sure that "sorry" wasn't a word in Hotch's vocabulary. She'd felt so much anger and resentment towards him in the past, the way he'd acted when she first introduced him to Peter, then after they were engaged, after she transferred, and finally, at their wedding. He had continually tried to distance himself from her, and she knew he didn't do that with the rest of the team. She had loved him at one point, maybe she still did a little. But now she had Peter… she ran her hands over her belly… and the baby. So she didn't need to worry. She had someone in her life who loved her and had given her the greatest gift imaginable, a family.

Emily smiled and looked up at Hotch. "Me too," she replied as she put her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. Hotch didn't know what to do, but smelling her shampoo, his arms automatically wrapped around her back and leant his chin on her head. "We should probably get outside," he whispered into her hair. Emily nodded and pat his back. "Alright. Let's go welcome in 2011," she said. Hotch frowned when she pulled away. The loss of contact made him shiver. But he was determined not to lose her friendship again. Granted, they couldn't be as close as they once were, or as close as they each were with the others. Even though he was sure Emily felt nothing towards him, he still loved her. He still _adored _her. He sighed. He would never have her. But at least, when she visited each year, he wouldn't feel the need to smile awkwardly before he excused himself. Maybe they could even have a conversation.

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A/N: And there we have it. Emily's pregnant. And I just finished reading your reviews so here's a few answers.

romiross: Emily does love Peter, but her feelings for him will never be like they were/are/will be for Hotch. He's not her soulmate but she loved him so she figured if he loved her too then it would work.

everyone: I wrote another story initially (it's call "reunited" and i'll post it once this story wraps), but decided to write the prequel and post it first. hopefully this story will only make "reunited" even better.

thanks for your reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: The baby's here! Hooray! I've always loved the name Emma and I guess writing gives me a chance to use it. Although it does make writing a bit tough when the mum's name is Emily and the baby's is Emma. Little confusing.

Ok so same drill: R&R please!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Criminal Minds. Or cute little, dark curly haired babies.

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"It's a girl!" JJ cried out, running into the conference room. She hadn't been able to take Emily's call during the press conference announcing that they'd caught the unsub, but she'd called her back as soon as she'd walked out of the station. The guys were busy packing up the paperwork and looked up when she burst through the door. Morgan's face lit up and Reid smiled. Rossi walked over to JJ and looked over her shoulder as she read out the message. "Emma Grace Preston. Born February 15th, 2011 at 3:37pm. 7 pound, 3 ounces. 21 inches long…. Awww look at the photo," she gushed.

The guys crowded around her and looked at the photo Emily had sent. The little baby, with her dark curly hair and long eyelashes, was the spitting image of her mom. "Mom and baby doing well. Mom's exhausted but can't sleep. Must watch small child. Incredible. P.S. Don't tell the guys I said this but OUCH!" JJ bit her lip as she looked up at the guys. "Ok, don't tell her you guys read that last part," she said. They laughed, both at JJ's reaction and at Emily's admission. She had always been the queen of the understatement and, apparently, child-birth was no different.

Hotch smiled when he saw the photo. The kid had definitely hit the jackpot. She had Emily's hair and eyes. Even as newborns go, Emma was beautiful. Hotch couldn't help but smile. He cared for Emily and was truly happy. She seemed happy, why wouldn't she be, so he should be happy for her. Granted, in the back of his head he was still wondering why it couldn't have been his baby that was making her so happy, but he pushed those thoughts and feelings aside. They weren't appropriate. She was married, and now had a child. She had the chance to be happy. And Hotch wasn't going to get in her way.

* * *

Emily looked down at her little girl. She was beautiful. Even though she was still only a few hours old she had thick curly black hair and the cutest little button nose. Emily reached her hand up and brushed her fingers through her hair. "I love you so much sweet girl," she whispered.

Emily looked up when she heard the door open and close. She watched as a hand pulled back the curtain and smiled when she saw her husband. "Hey honey," she said quietly. He held out a bear from behind his back and Emily grinned. She shuffled over in the bed and Peter sat down beside her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and reached over to run his hand over his new daughter's head. "She's beautiful isn't she?" Emily said quietly. Peter smiled and nodded. "Just like her mom," he whispered back. Emily looked up at him and smiled. He leant forward to kiss her gently.

"I sent a message to the team while you were gone. They just wrapped up a case in Tulsa so I thought this would be just the news to cheer them up," she said as she gently place Emma in the crib. Peter stood up quickly and nodded. "Great," he said, under his breath. Emily frowned. She didn't know what it was that made him so uncomfortable whenever she mentioned the team, but he tensed up every time.

Peter turned and tucked the bear in Emily's overnight bag. She would be staying there one more night so he'd brought her some clothes to change into and some new pajamas. He stood up again and walked over to the crib. "I'm going to have to go. I've got a flight early tomorrow. But I'll be home tomorrow afternoon to pick you up," he said quickly, leaning over to kiss his wife. Emily ran her fingers through his hair and nodded. "If you don't make it back in time, don't worry too much. Dad called to say he and Natalie would fly out in the morning so they should be here in time to pick us up," she said. Peter nodded and looked at the floor. "Ok. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Either here or at home," he said quietly. Emily smiled as he leant over the crib to kiss their daughter goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow honey," she said as she watched him walk out.

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A/N2: Ok so this was basically showing Hotch putting his thoughts from the Christmas before into action, wanting to be supportive and be a friend to Emily, regardless of his feelings towards her. It was also the place where Peter starts to see that the team will always be in Emily's life and where he starts to feel like she doesn't need him. She's got the team and her own family, so he starts to feel helpless. Without spoiling too much. I hope. Oh well. Won't be long before the shit hits the fan.

Please R&R! I love it when you do.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Sorry about the absolute tiny-ness of this chapter. It's really just Hotch's perception of Emily's second Christmas home. I'll post the next one ASAP.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds.

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Hotch hadn't seen Emily the whole time she'd been in DC. She'd returned again that Christmas and stayed until the 27th December. Hotch had been out of the office when she'd come to pick up JJ and Garcia for their annual pre-Christmas dinner. So he hadn't seen her. Then, when he and Jack arrived at Dave's annual New Year's Eve celebration, Hotch had found out they'd had to return to California. Peter had just started again as a surgeon at San Francisco General. Apparently Emily wasn't too happy to have to leave, but Peter had insisted, in front of JJ and Will, that she and Emma come back with him.

Hotch was secretly glad that he'd missed her during this visit. He had called Emily a couple of months earlier and they'd argued. JJ had returned from her summer vacation with photos of Emily and her family, and he had said that she finally looked happy, holding her tiny daughter. Emily got on the defensive, saying that she was happy, and that it wasn't just because of Emma. She had a wonderful husband and didn't think it was fair for Hotch to assume that she needed to have a baby to finally feel happy. Hotch didn't understand what made her snap but she hung up on him before he could find out what was wrong. He thought back over their conversation, looking for hidden meanings, hidden cries for help.

_"Yes Hotch, I am happy. Why is that such a surprise? Because I'm not in the BAU? You really do think that don't you?" she asked bitterly. Hotch tried to respond but was cut off as she started talking again. "Hotch, I have a beautiful daughter and a husband who... loves me," Emily rolled her eyes hoping her involuntary faux pas wouldn't reveal how she really felt. She loved her husband, but the last few months were tough on them. She had returned to work two months after Emma was born. They had argued, Peter saying that she didn't _need _to work, that he could support both of them. Emily had rolled her eyes saying that she didn't want to stay at home. That she _wanted _to work. _

_Hotch sighed on the other end of the line. He didn't want to push, he didn't want to ask the questions. And he knew that she didn't want him to be the one to ask. Ever since her first Christmas home they'd kept things superficial. They kept their conversations on the topics of their kids, Emma and Jack, and their work. Hotch asked her how it was to be back at work and Emily had explained that it was a little strange. Her new partner, Dan, was a good agent, solid and trustworthy, and they got along well. But he could hear it in her voice, whenever they spoke, that something was wrong. But he wouldn't push. "Emily, I didn't mean to offend you. I just... I was trying... I saw JJ's photos and thought I'd call to say hi," he explained. _

_Emily couldn't think of what to say. "I'm sorry Hotch. I... I have to go. Peter's gonna be home soon and I have to get Emma ready for her bath," she said, hanging up before he could answer. Hotch looked at his phone. He threw it on his desk and leant back in his chair, sighing as he looked at the ceiling. He hoped, for Emily's sake, that things weren't as bad as they sounded. He hoped that she wasn't going through as much pain as he thought. But he knew those hopes were in vain. He knew she was in pain. And there was nothing he could do to fix it._

* * *

A/N: Personal note first: I've written this chapter 4 times now. Stupid computer keeps crashing. I think I might cry.

Story notes: So as I said before, this is just a propellant chapter. It's just to show what Hotch is thinking at this point.


	10. Chapter 10

**WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING**

**This is pretty angsty right here. I cried a little when I was re-reading it. **

A/N: Hope that was enough of a warning. No deaths or anything, just a very emotional set of circumstances for our young Emily and her daughter. Read and review please.

DISCLAIMER: Still don't own Criminal Minds.

* * *

Emily didn't understand what went wrong. She thought back over the past eighteen months. She thought about the sacrifices she had made for Peter. She couldn't imagine why he was saying the things he was. "Emily, you've always been reserved. I've never had the whole you. I don't know where you are, but you're not with me," he cried out in frustration.

Emily shook her head and put her face in her hands. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" she cried out, "Do you realize everything I've sacrificed? I gave up my career, I gave up my life and my friends and my family because I love you. Because I WANTED YOU PETER! I wanted to be with you and have kids with you and grow old with you," she sighed.

Peter shook his head. "No. That's what you _thought _you wanted," he replied. Emily looked up at him in confusion. "You thought you wanted this life. But honey, the minute you thought she was old enough, Emma was in daycare so you could go back to the FBI," he said.

Emily shook her head and stood up. "So now I'm a bad mother because I want to work? Because I want to have a career? Being a good role model for my daughter… trying to make this a safer world for her… how does that make me a bad mom?" she cried out.

Peter shook his head. "It doesn't make you a bad mom. It… I don't know," he shrugged, "It makes you independent. You don't need me." He looked down at his feet and Emily walked over. She tried to get him to meet her gaze but he shook his head. "Peter, honey, I _need _you. I need you everyday. I need you to back me up and stand next to me. I need you to hold my hand, to give me hugs, to make love to me. Because you're my husband. And …" she pulled his hands up to her chest, "because you want to. I _know _you want this too. I know you want to be together and raise our family." He looked at her hands then stepped back from her, dropping her hand.

"I need some time. I need to figure some things out," he said quietly. "Take as much time as you need. I'll be waiting here," she said. He nodded and walked over to Emma's crib and kissed the top of her head. "I'm gonna go to the house in Sacramento," he said. Emily nodded.

She watched him walk upstairs and heard him opening and closing drawers as he packed a small bag. "Call me when you get there," she said. He nodded and walked to the door. He paused before he opened it and walked out. Emily walked over to the window seats and sat down. She watched him climb in the jeep and the tears fell the moment he drove away.

* * *

It had been a couple of days since Peter had left for Sacramento. He'd called Emily that night, when he arrived at their small cottage, and said that he needed a few days to think about things. Emily nodded, though of course he couldn't see. They said goodbye and that was the last time they'd spoken.

It was Wednesday, and she was coming home from work a little early. She was hoping Peter would be there. He had SMS'ed her asking her where she had put his dark grey suit. He needed it for something but wouldn't tell her what. Emily had gotten so excited, that he was coming home. She had told her partner, Dan, that she needed to take a half-day. Emma was at daycare so she hoped that when she arrived home, they could talk and fix things. But when she _did _arrive home, it was a different story.

She felt something was different from the moment she walked into the house. She had expected Peter to be there, but it was eerily quiet. She walked through the front door and called out to him. No answer. She walked through to the study, but he was gone. And his laptop was as well, not strange, given that he usually took it with him. But if his laptop wasn't there, then maybe he wasn't either. She walked further into the study and half the shelves were bare. All of his textbooks were gone. His medical dictionary, his copy of the DSM-IV. They were all gone.

Emily couldn't shake the strange feeling in her gut. She turned and walked quickly up the stairs. She walked into their room and felt like throwing up when she saw the closet open. All of his clothes were gone. His shoes, his socks, his ties. The only things left in the wardrobe were her clothes and a couple of old Michigan State sweatshirts that she wore to bed. In the bathroom, his toothbrush and shaving kit were gone. She slowly walked back downstairs, into the living room and sat on the lounge. She picked up her phone and called his cell. It went straight to voicemail. She hung up and walked back into the study. This time, when she looked at her desk, she saw it.

She picked it up, knowing it wasn't going to be good. She walked into the kitchen, put it on the bench, and pulled the gin out of the freezer. She picked up her phone to call Pip, Dan's wife, and one of Emily's few west-coast friends. "Hey, Pip," she started, hoping her overly cheery voice wasn't a give-away. It wasn't. "Hey Em. What's up?" she asked. Emily took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice level. "Uh, I'm hoping you can do me a favour. I've got a bit of an emergency here. I was wondering if you can pick Emma up from day-care and take care of her until tomorrow afternoon?" Emily asked. Pip said she'd be happy to and after Emily explained a few, diapers and bottles etc, things they hung up.

She didn't want to go out in public, and if this letter was as bad as she was anticipating, she didn't want to do that until the next morning. Emily picked up her cell and sent a quick message to Dan. She knew if she called him he'd pick up on her voice and come straight over. _D. Just letting you know I won't be able to make it in for the next couple of days. Family emergency. Sorry. Talk to you soon. E. _She waited for the reply. _E. No worries. Call me if you need. I'll take care of the deposition for you. See you in a couple. D. P.S. Call Pip if you need a hand. She loves you Em. _Emily smiled at that last part. With that taken care of, Emily took a sip of gin, a deep breath, and opened the letter.

_Emily, _

_I don't really know what to say. It would be easy to blame you but that's not really fair. I don't know when it happened, or what exactly happened, but I've fallen out of love with you. I still love you, and I always will. You're the mother of my little girl and I will always love you for that. Even though I've realized that this life isn't what I want anymore, you gave me two wonderful years with you, and ten wonderful months with Emma. _

_When we first started dating, you warned me that your job was important to you, and always would be. And I thought I could handle it. Even when I asked you to move to San Francisco with me, I knew in the back of my mind that you'd never really leave DC. I used to love the dedication you give to your work but over time, I've grown to really resent it. Your job, being an agent, being in the Bureau, it will always come first. You're an agent first, a mother second, and a wife third. And for a little while I thought that was enough for me. But it's not anymore. _

_Even more than my growing frustrations with that pecking order, I realize now that your team, your family in DC, they are what's important to you. You have never cared about me like you do them. You worry when you hear that one of them has been hurt, and you immediately drop whatever you're doing to call them. But when I called to tell you I was promoted or that I was picking up lectures at the university, you argued about how I was picking up more work but not contributing at home. Emily, that hurts so much. That you care more about what's going on with JJ or Reid or Hotch more than you do your own husband. I don't know how to fix it. I only know that if I don't leave now, I'm going to ruin the rest of both our lives. _

_I'm not going to fight you for custody of Emma. You are a wonderful mother and I could never take her from you. I hope you will tell her how much I love her and how much I care. But I can't just stay for her. I need to think about what's best for me too. _

_I also want you to have the house. You put so much work into making it a home, and it's Emma's home. So I want you to have it. I'll be staying in Sacramento until I figure out what to do next. _

_Take care Emily. Know that I will always care for you. I hope you'll eventually be happy, that you'll find what you're looking for. _

_Peter. _

Emily was stunned. She couldn't move or speak or even cry. She couldn't believe it. She just sat there and stared at the paper. She didn't know whether she had the energy to stand, even if she wanted to. After she took a deep breath she put the letter on the coffee table and took a sip of the gin, the cool liquid sliding down her throat. She looked down at the note and she could feel the tears begin to well up. She shook her head and stood up, placing her glass on the coffee table. She slowly walked upstairs, into their bedroom, and made her way to their bed. She lay down on her side and curled up in a ball. She ran her hand over Peter's side of the bed and felt the tears start to fall. Maybe, she thought to herself, maybe after he's taken some time to think about it he'll come home. After a good fifteen minutes of crying, she fell asleep.

* * *

A/N2: Ok, so poor Emily. I felt so sad for her. And then I realized that this is basically what happened to Hotch when Hayley left in Season 3. He comes home to find the house empty. Although in Emily's case she's fortunate enough to have her baby with her.

So the end of this is also the start of her grief. She's already gone through denial, wondering if he'll come back. Next chapter has the next three stages: anger then bargaining, and finally she hits depression. Please Read and Review.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Ok so this chapter holds the three middle stages of grief. And may I just say that, even in a fictional world, Emily's anger phase does wonders for the economy. And I realize this is a little bit late to mention but I've had this guy's picture in my head and he is what I imagine "Peter" to look like. His name is Burgess Jenkins. I saw him in "Remember the Titans" the other night when my boyfriend made me watch it. So kudos to Mat for the choice of pic.

Please R&R.

DISCLAIMER: As ever I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

*BEEP BEEP - - - BEEP BEEP*

Emily opened her eyes gradually. She reached over to hit the alarm on Peter's bedside table and lay back on the bed. As she stared at the ceiling she thought about the night before. Had it really happened. She sat up in bed and looked over at their wardrobe. Still half empty. This was really happening. Peter had gone. Emily's marriage was over. Her brow furrowed as she thought about the letter. "That damn letter. That asshole. He didn't even have the gut to sit down with me and tell me. He wrote it in a letter. And he didn't even write it. He _typed _it." Emily shook her head when she realized she had been talking to herself. She got up from the bed and looked around. She looked down at the bed and realized they were the blue sheets and the mint green doona cover that Peter had picked out. _Nothing frilly or pink_, he'd said. Emily rolled her eyes and pulled the linen off the bed. She rolled it up into a ball and threw it on the ground. As she walked down to the linen closet and opened it, she realized that all the sheets were blue or green or white. Emily pulled them all out and threw them on the ground, along with the blue towel sets that were Peter's. She looked back at the closet. "Well, if I'm going to throw out all my sheets, I'm gonna need some new ones," she said to herself. She walked back into their room and looked at their bed. She shook her head. _I need to go shopping_, she thought to herself. She picked up the pillows from the bed, threw them in the pile with the bed linen, and carried it all downstairs. She packed it away in garbage bags to take to Good Will on her way to the mall.

She looked around the living room and saw photos everywhere of Peter. Peter and Emily on their wedding day. Peter and Emma on the swings at the park. Peter and Emma, asleep on his surfboard. Peter and Emily at Christmas at her parent's house. Emily shook her head and picked up another garbage bag. She went through all of the photo frames, pulling out the photos with Peter in them. She threw them in the bag. Then she went to the fridge and pulled out all of Peter's favourite foods, then did the same with the pantry. She opened the cabinet and pulled out the mug she'd bought him for Father's Day, throwing it in the bag as she huffed. As she went through the house she threw away anything that reminded her of Peter. When she was finished, she'd filled three garbage bags to go to charity, and two to go in the trash. She was going to throw away their framed marriage certificate but something stopped her. She grabbed her keys and satchel, and carried the bags downstairs. She threw away the trash and put the charity bags in the jeep.

She'd spent about $4800 in about three hours, buying new linen and towels, a new bedroom set and mattress, stocked up on groceries, and printed off some new photos. When she got back home she put the new sheets in the wash before she went to her room to pull apart her furniture. She carried it down to her car, piece by piece, and went upstairs to put together her new bedroom set. The mattress guys arrived just in time. They offered to get rid of the old mattress and Emily quickly accepted the offer. They carried her new mattress upstairs, put it on the bed, then took away the old one. Emily quickly made the bed with some linen from the spare bedroom, and put on her new doona. She threw her new pillows on the bed and nodded.

She looked at her watch and smiled. It was time to pick up Emma. She had successfully distracted herself for an entire day. Granted, shopping while emotional is a very expensive way to distract oneself, but she had to admit, with the Peter-object culling, she was starting to feel a little better. She had new furniture, new linen, and new photos, none of which reminded her of Peter. She walked downstairs, grabbed her bag and cell, and left to pick up Emma. On the way she stopped in at Good Will for the second time that day, and dropped off the bedroom set.

Emily hugged Emma tight. She had fallen asleep in the car on the way home. Emily carefully lifted her out of her car seat and carried her upstairs. She went straight to bed. Emily sat in the rocking chair, watching her daughter sleep. She looked at her innocent little girl and began to well up. She would do anything to save her daughter from the pain she was likely to undergo. Emma loved her daddy. She would miss him. And Emily wanted so badly for Emma to have the normal childhood Emily had missed out on. Emily closed her eyes and, for the first time in years, honestly prayed. "God, please. I'm not asking for myself. I would give anything for my sweet daughter to not know of pain. I don't want her to grow up thinking her daddy doesn't love her or want her. I will give you anything if you can spare her from that. Please," Emily begged silently. She opened her eyes. She didn't know what she was expecting. Maybe she had hoped that Peter would suddenly appear in the doorway. When he didn't, Emily stood up from her seat, kissed Emma's chubby cheek, and closed the door gently.

Emily walked downstairs and into the kitchen. She pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and cracked the seal. As she took a sip, she looked over at the lounge and realized she had left the note and glass of gin on the coffee table near the window seats. She frowned and walked over. She sat down and stared at the note, secretly (and much to her inner-nerd's content) wishing that the note would vaporize. When it didn't she looked out the window and sighed. How could such a beautiful night hold such pain? Suddenly, with practically no warning, her eyes welled up with tears and the grief took over and she felt her chest heave as she sobbed. It was over. Her marriage was over. She was a failure. She'd never truly failed at anything before. But here she was, sitting in her beautiful home, with her beautiful daughter upstairs sleeping, and she was alone. A failure. Emily lay down on the seat and continued to cry. Eventually she fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: This is the week following Peter leaving. Emily's gone through the grief and now has to stand up and keep living.

Please read and review. I really like the feedback.

DISCLAIMER: I need to marry rich, then I don't have to say that I don't own Criminal Minds. Tee hee.

* * *

Emily was woken up the next morning by her cell. She picked it up and saw the ID. _JJ_, she thought to herself. There was no way she could answer the call and pretend to be ok. JJ may not have taken the classes, but as far as Emily was concerned, the woman WAS a profiler. She hit decline and waited for the message. When her voicemail buzzed, Emily picked up her cell and dialed.

"Hey Em. It's Jayje. Just thought I'd call and see how you are. This has probably been the longest time we've gone without speaking. How's Emma? I can't believe she's almost one! You and Peter must be so proud. We had Adam's birthday a couple of weeks ago. Everyone came around for cake, even Hotch. He brought Jack of course. But it still wasn't the same without you. I hope you can come back and visit soon. Give me a call and we'll talk some more. Gotta go, we're about to land. Talk to you soon. Love you."

Emily smiled sadly as she hung up her phone. She looked at her cell and placed it on the table before she felt her chest tighten again. She looked at the clock. 6:30am. Emma should be up soon.

Emily spent the next few days at home with Emma. She did washing and cleaned up around the house, played with her daughter, took her down to the park and the beach. But everything was done on autopilot. It was like she was sleep-walking. She was doing everything she was supposed to do, but wasn't engaging. Ordering coffee was a three-word maximum conversations. "Latte please," followed by "thanks."

Emily hadn't called Dan or spoken to Pip since she'd called/messaged them the night Peter left. It had been just over a week. Emma was in her room napping and Emily was sitting on the lounge, watching mindless TV. She sat up when there was a knock at the door. She had changed the locks and hoped it wasn't Peter.

When she looked through the peep-hole she sighed. She opened the door and forced a smile. "Dan, Pip. What's going on?" she asked. Pip looked at her husband. "Ok. I get it now," she said quietly. Emily frowned. "Get what?" she asked. Pip and Dan looked at her. "Em, we know something is wrong. Can you please tell us what's going on?" Pip asked. "We've been trying to call you for days," Dan added. Emily sighed in defeat and looked at the floor. She stepped back in the doorway and opened the door for them to come in. "Come in. I guess I really should talk to someone," she said. Dan closed the door behind them and followed Emily and Pip through to the lounge.

"Can I get you guys a drink?" she asked. They both nodded and looked at her, worried. Emily gestured to the lounge and they all sat down. Emily sat in the two-seater and looked at the floor. "Whatever it is sweetie, we can help," Pip said, reaching over to hold her hand. Emily forced a smile and nodded. "Uh… Peter's gone," she said quietly. Pip raised her eyebrows and looked at Dan. He frowned. "Uh… gone?" he asked. Emily looked up and saw the shock on their faces.

"I came home on Wednesday and he'd packed up all his things and left. He… he left a note on my desk and … he just… left," Emily explained, fighting back the tears. Pip stood and moved over to sit beside Emily. She wrapped her arm around her shoulders and immediately Emily felt the crushing. She couldn't break down, she wouldn't. She shook her head and held back the tears. "He just left. He didn't even wait to talk or even say goodbye. He left that stupid note and took off. Like a coward!" she said quietly. Dan stood up, enraged. How could he do this? Peter was supposed to love and protect her. Dan folded his arms. They all looked up when they heard the knock at the door. Dan put his hands up. "You two stay here. I'll go answer that," he said. Emily and Pip both nodded and watched as Dan walked over to the door.

He looked through the peep-hole and opened the door. "Can I help you?" he asked the delivery guy. He held out a package and asked Dan to sign for it. When that was done, he closed the door and walked back into the lounge. He held up the package. "Just a delivery," he said. Emily reached out and took it, sliding the end open. She frowned as she reached inside and pulled out a handful of paper. The names at the top of the letter were foreign to her. She read through the first paragraph and threw the papers on the table, standing up and walking over to the window.

"That bastard! I'm gonna kill him," Pip said as she read through the words. Dan frowned. "What is it?" he asked. Emily looked up. "He filed for divorce," she said quietly. Emily took a deep breath and looked at her friends. "Look, guys. I appreciate you coming over to check on me but… I really need some time to myself. To figure out what I'm gonna do," she said, staring at the floor. Dan nodded but Pip shook her head.

"Sweetie, I'm here to help. Whatever you need," she said. Emily smiled and looked at her. "I know. And I love you for that. But I really need to figure this out on my own. I need to think about what's going to be best for Emma and myself," she explained. Dan nodded again. "I understand Em. Just know you can call us if you need to talk or if you need us to look after Emma." Emily smiled and nodded. "I know. Thanks guys," she said as they walked to the door. She gave them each a hug and said goodnight. She leant in the doorway as she watched them walk down the stairs. When they had gone she turned and closed the door, locked the deadbolt, and walked back into the lounge. She looked at the papers on the lounge room coffee table, then over at the note, still on the table near the window. She threw her hands up in the air and groaned. "I'll deal with it tomorrow," she said. She walked upstairs, checked on Emma, then went to bed.

* * *

Emily woke the next morning, once again, to her cell buzzing on the nightstand. She picked up her phone and frowned. It was JJ again, and as much as Emily didn't want to talk to her friend, she knew that if she didn't answer it now they would all worry. She took a deep breath and hit the green button.

"Hello," she said, her voice as bright as she could muster under the circumstances. JJ sighed on the other end. "Thank God! I was starting to get worried. Geez. Is everything ok Em?" she asked. Emily took another deep breath and rolled her eyes. If she kept this up she'd hyperventilate by conversation's end. "I'm fine. What's going on?" Emily replied. JJ smiled. Apparently she'd been worried for no reason. "I called you yesterday but it went straight to voicemail. I just figured it's been a long while since we'd spoken and when I asked Hotch when he'd last heard from you he acted really weird. I thought I'd check and see if everything was alright," she explained. Emily bit her lip and frowned.

"Everything's fine. Work's good, Emma's beautiful. I can't believe how big she's getting. What about you guys? How's Adam going? How old is he now?" she asked, turning the conversation from her, hoping to avoid _that _conversation. JJ smiled and started talking about her kids, Henry who was now three years old, and her youngest son Adam, who just reached six months. Emily sat up from her bed and walked into the ensuite. She looked in the mirror and groaned.

JJ stopped mid-sentence. "Is everything ok Em?" she asked. Emily rolled her eyes. "Yeah. I'm fine. I didn't sleep very well last night and just looked in the mirror," she explained. JJ frowned. "You're not sleeping?" JJ asked, concern evident in her voice. "Just last night. I tossed and turned a little but I'm fine. Really..." Emily paused. "I should go. I have to get Emma up and ready before I go to work," Emily said quickly, "I'll talk to you soon Jayje. Give the boys a kiss each for me." Emily quickly hung up. She leant on the vanity and groaned.

JJ sat at her desk, listening to the dial tone on the other end. She frowned. Emily didn't sound alright. She didn't sound fine. She sounded... well JJ didn't know how she sounded but it wasn't good. She made a quick mental note to call her back in the next couple of days. Then, if Em still sounded different, JJ would know there was something wrong. She picked up the file and walked through the halls to the BAU. Another week... another case.

* * *

A/N: This last section was a little add-on for brittanydelko4ever who suggested getting JJ's POV on the situation. I don't know if this is ok but let's see what the reviews say.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: This is the final chapter in my "prequel" story. Please read and review and look for the follow-on story "reunited." Thanks so much for your reviews so far.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Criminal Minds.

* * *

Emily spent the next morning reading through the papers Peter had sent. She agreed with him signing over his custody rights to Emma, and the San Francisco house. She also agreed to him keeping the Sacramento cottage. She agreed with everything. When she had read through the papers for the fifth time, she sighed. She picked up the pen and signed. Easy as that. With the same flick of the pen she used when picking up the groceries, she was divorced. When she sat back on the couch she felt a wave of emotion for what she had just lost. Emma was playing on the Peter near the window, and toddled over to her mom. Emily reached over and picked up her daughter, pulling her close. "Why don't we go for a trip to visit Grandma, Nanny, and Poppy?" Emily said to her daughter. Emma just smiled when Emily said Poppy.

Emily and Emma's flight had just landed. She picked up their belongings from the baggage claim and pushed the trolley through the airport. She ran her fingers through Emma's hair as she pulled her cell out of her pocket. "Hey Pip. It's Em," she said quietly. "Em. How you going?" Pip answered as she dressed her son. Emily smiled. "uh, we've landed. Just walking through the airport now. I just… I want to thank you and Dan for everything. I know I've been falling apart for the last couple of weeks and I just… I can't really tell the guys on the team yet, not until I meet with Strauss, but I really appreciate your support. Especially with this new big change," she said.

Pip smiled. "Em, it's not a problem. You're our friend, and Dan's partner. And we know that you don't have much in the way of support on the west coast so we were always going to give you that," she explained. Emily smiled and nodded. She looked around the arrivals gate and saw her parents and step-mother. "I know all of that. I just… I wanted to thank you guys. But I have to run. Just saw my parents," she said. Pip nodded. "Alright. We'll see you in a week. Give the birthday girl a big kiss from Uncle Dan and Aunt Pip," she said. Emily agreed and said goodbye. She put her cell in her pocket and waved at her parents.

They quickly walked over and Emily gave her dad a big hug. "Daddy," she said as he wrapped his arms around her. "Hey sweetheart," he said. They turned to laugh at Emily's mom and step-mom doting over Emma. "Let's go party hey?" he said. Emily smiled and nodded. "Let's go party," she repeated.

Emily spent ten days with her parents. She explained what had happened. Her dad had sworn to kill Peter, but Emily quickly soothed the former SEAL's temper, saying that she could take care of herself. Simon shook his head. "That boy promised me he'd take care of you. He promised me he would love you and give you everything you needed." Emily forced a smile. "Well, he gave me Emma. So really… I can't complain," she said. Simon smiled and kissed his daughter's forehead. "Sweetheart. I am so proud of you. And if you need _anything _you call me ok? I'll jump on the first flight to San Fran," he said. Emily pat his belly. "Ok Daddy," she whispered as she snuggled into his chest.

The family had a small celebration for Emma's first birthday. Just Emma, Emily, and her parents. They spent the day spoiling her with presents and playing in the park. Emily didn't want to tell her DC family, knowing that they would probably all want to kill Peter. But she was just starting to pull herself together and didn't want them to see her weak and vulnerable. Besides, if the meeting with Strauss went well, she may be back in DC sooner than the BAU team thought.

Emily was sad to say goodbye to her family but assured them she'd see them soon. She picked Emma up and grabbed their carry-ons and walked down the gangplank to the plane. Seven hours later and they arrived back home. Emily walked into the house and sighed. This time, she wasn't scared to come home. She quickly put Emma to bed and then jumped in the shower. She could get through this. She would get through this. And even if she didn't get the happily ever after, at least she had her little princess. And that was more than some people got.


End file.
